1. |
Heartless
05:14
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Tell me please
How to keep
Your heart from tearing
To a thousand pieces
Taking you to sleep
I wore your clothes last night
While you talked to me
It seemed like we could so easily be
But it was all too plain
What you thought of me
I used to make your day, completely
Our bear had lost its teeth
And I was mute
You stood there so stubbornly resolute
Are you almost done?
Could I please just leave?
And if looks could kill
I'd be free
Tell me I'm wrong but I thought
You were right up my street
You were my other sister so long
It took me months to find my cold feet
Tell me please how to keep you at arm’s reach
Tell me please how to be a memory
I thought you'd more to say
But you’d forgotten it
I guess that was the point
But was it everything
Could you just forgive
Because you've long forgot
How to let us live
It's not a lot
Tell me please how to keep the same routine
Tell me please how to be charming and easy
Tell me please how to be convincingly easy
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2. |
Gates
04:49
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You saw an angel
I saw a crook
Give up on hatred
I swore I would
The lens is getting old and cloudy
Just friends
I thought out loud
In my sleep
The gates are closed and I am getting down
Your emissary knows who goes to bed in this town
And it’s an old blues that I can hold to
It’s not so bad to drown
Just another lucky you to let down
I then got all my gold in one place
Just friends
It would be wrong
To your face
The pouring sickness
The warm embrace
Before the witness
I kept my faith
Begin to be a stone and hopeful
Just friends
Never alone
Just let me know
Such good
Never found me this way
But I think I would be okay
Append
That I will always see you
Just friends
How could I be
Another you
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3. |
Kintsukuroi
03:26
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You were my never hurt anyone
As much as I'd planned to hurt me
You were my precious, my setting sun
Golden-haired and blue backlit dream
And you said could we
Stay here for a while
And I wanted you
to mean for a lifetime
The evening was cold, the sky darkened
And I told you that you had to leave
But you always know when it’s heartfelt
You were brighter than you’d ever been
And you said
Darling, we’re fucked up
And you’re right
But what you mean is
We deserve love
The two of us, pretty as dolls
Like porcelain toys
You are the gold
In my kintsukuroi
I went and watched you try to leave me
But I knew it would be for the best
You were an angel, believe me
Know that your song is sweeter than the rest
And I would walk
From here to hidden cove
When you were there
It always felt like home
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4. |
Straightedge
05:09
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My precious moment
With my instant lover
He tastes like you
But you’re sweeter
Why do you smoke
Take the both of our breath away
It’s not easy
To stay here
Now
Could you be more difficult
Could you be more distant
Cause I need it
In all good conscience
I should leave you to him
It’s much like you
To be using
Now
Could you be more difficult
Could you be more distant
Cause I need it
Now
Could you be unethical
Could you be consistent
Cause I need it
Now
And the whiskey bottle burns across your collar
It’s okay
In the arms in parks of that pohutukawa
The tarring flame
The cursed stain
It’s in my brain
You’ve got denim
Half aloud
Had you seen him
Standing proud
Bloodshot wearing
New shell frames
Could you listen
To my names
Now
Could you be more difficult
Could you be more distant
Cause I need it
Now
I was getting into it
But your jeans have knees ripped
And I need this
I need this now
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5. |
This Was Not My Idea
05:48
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I had a plan, I know I did
So why does it get repetitive
I broke my back to be this way
Could have had every single day
You want to see a lot of this
What will it take to be convinced
Some days it’s just not happening
I don’t have any praise to sing
This is what I wanted
How can we tell the pieces fit
Without a moment to unstick
This always was the coming end
Count me into your faithless friends
Drama queen
We’re nothing if not wary
Drama queen
We were always temporary
This is what I wanted
I had a plan, I know I did
I’m through this again, you’re unabridged
You left my heart in disarray
I just thought I was saving face
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6. |
Red Flags
05:25
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At one point I realised
It was nothing I really liked
It was just me
Pretending to be somebody you admired
It wasn't all bodily
At least not successfully
Nothing like you
Wanted to do
Over and under me
It wasn't like you
Wanted to do
Anything else with me
For once I let go
I drove you home
In the cold
The things we will go
Through to call
People home
You said it's love when it's good
Said more than I ever could
You said when it's bad
It's the worst that you've had
It hurts worse than dying would
So was it worth anything
Or was it just posturing
The mask that you wear
Is so easy to tear
Cause you're so bad at acting
You should just go
And leave me alone
That's all that you owe me
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7. |
Make Me
05:10
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No-one’s ever any good
At being all that we could hope for
If we grant a second look
Just one off everybody's high score
I never looked the part
Always scowling at a camera from behind a mask
And I could always get made up in drag
But the feeling that I’m real is always taken back
I see you printed grey and black
I watch the coming of the tide
I want to share but can’t look back
She's in the shadow of your eyes
I never looked the part
Always scowling at a camera from behind a mask
And I could always get made up in drag
But I’m reading that I’m real inside a paperback
Is he a work of art
Always thought he could have made another broken heart
And if he could help it he'd push love away
The broken dream was always real enough to save some face
Tiger stripes
I found your inner thighs
How your bitterness shines
The way your wedding band lies
Could say I’ve slain the fairer sex
I’ve ruined all of this with wishing
But I could take on fairer bets
The odds are everyone I’m missing
Am I torture now?
Have I taught you now?
She was lost and found
Looking for a reason to commit to common ground
Tearing off her dress for one good man
Taking nothing from the shadows of her former friends
Am I torture now?
I could paint the rising sun over your furrowed brow
And it would help you reach that place again
And you never needed more than that
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One of Everything Auckland, New Zealand
Trans femme from Aotearoa, doing Better Than You Expected
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